


So Soon (Maybe)

by the_albatross



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Loneliness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 15:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20230375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_albatross/pseuds/the_albatross
Summary: Post break up, Willam sees Shane moving on but even after months apart it still feels so soon.Inspired by 'So Soon' by Marianas Trench.





	So Soon (Maybe)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [veronicasanders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronicasanders/gifts).

> Look @VeronicaSanders, I finally wrote something with Bitney!

'That was quick.'

  
Those were Willam's first thoughts as he scrolled through his Instagram updates and found a recent post of Shane and Roy out at lunch overseas. To anyone else it might have just looked like a couple of friends sharing a meal but Willam knew better than that. If they were truly just out for a casual lunch, neither would have been dressed so nice. Sure, it was a far cry from a suit and tie but a button up shirt in the middle of summer? Hair neatly combed and meticulously style? Light application of makeup to hide any blemishes?

  
No.

  
Willam knew all too well what the little signs looked like.

  
After all, Shane had done the same for him not too long ago. Or perhaps it had been longer than he cared to admit. It has been almost a year since Shane moved to the UK and their relationship had fallen apart not long after that. Still good friends, that was true, but with an entire ocean separating them it was hard to maintain an already delicately balanced relationship. 

  
Even before Shane left there were warning signs of their partnership starting to crack. But then again hindsight is 20/20 and maybe Willam was a little bitter about how it all turned out. At the time he hadn't seen those red flags; he was so busy with his own work, as was Shane. They tried to talk about it but with so many legal implications barring them from sharing many details, the strain was unavoidable.

  
But maybe they both should have just tried harder?

  
Or maybe it was inevitable after all.

  
Shane never seemed to have his heart set on LA, not like Willam was.

  
If they had any idea of the greater changes to come, maybe they would have talked about it...or even called it quits sooner.

  
Each held on to the relationship as long as they could until the chasm between them had become too great. 

  
They were stubborn. 

  
They didn't want to believe their relationship had been doomed from the start as so many had prophesied before. Each fought tooth and nail to defend themselves whenever they heard a skeptical remark about their stability together. But there were times when the gossip truly got to them and they'd spend long hours into the night reassuring themselves that it could work, that it _would_ work. 

  
But they might have just been deluding themselves after all. 

  
Or if Shane had stayed in the US, maybe it would have all worked out in the end.

  
But when he announced his intention to move, Willam did nothing to stop him. He held his tongue even as a fire raged inside of him. Harsh remarks were bit back but Shane knew him well enough to know when something was on his mind. Another sign they should have talked about this, he guessed.

  
Too late now.

  
Even after Shane had been gone for several weeks, Willam refused to admit that he missed his partner. He was too proud and that was his biggest fault. He spent so long convincing himself he didn't need another person to be happy that he missed his opportunity to confess to Shane before it was too late.

  
Even after they split, Willam still would not admit such feelings. He simply buried them deep inside under a layer of forced happiness and busywork to keep his mind off everything.

  
And it worked for awhile...

  
Until the pictures started flooding in.

  
It was no surprise that Roy had work available overseas, nor that the two would spend time together. Willam thought nothing of it when the first few posts popped up.

  
Then they became rather frequent...and finally it smacked him in the face what was going on.

  
Shane was moving on with Roy in tow while he was left to wallow in his misery.

  
True, there were plenty of hook ups and even a couple of longer flings here and there but he still hadn't quite gotten over Shane. There was still a hope that Shane would tire of the UK and move back or take the steps Willam refused to acknowledge and bridge the gap between them. No matter how it happened, deep down Willam believed they'd find their way back to one another, they had to.

  
But he was wrong.

  
It only took one look at the pictures of them together to see that Roy and Shane were giving their relationship a good, honest effort. Each was undoubtedly going the extra mile, both to keep things quiet and to build the stability of their newfound relationship.

  
Before long other queens were catching on as well, though few dared to talk about it in Willam's presence. If that happened to be the topic of choice as he came around, all conversation would grind to an awkward halt. 

  
It annoyed him.

  
Pissed him off even. 

  
But there was nothing he could do about it.

  
One of the few people who dared to bring up the subject on their own was Justin. And even then it was brief. He hardly felt the need to mention it other than an occasional comment here and there. Yet as this latest update popped up on their feeds while they drank backstage before a show, this felt like something they needed to talk about...at least for a moment.

  
"You okay?" Justin asked softly as his hand laid comfortingly over Willam's shoulder.

  
There was a pause as Willam wrapped his head around the question and tried to decipher his feelings. 

  
It was confusing; he was happy for Shane and Roy but also deeply hurt. Maybe because he knew Shane's new partner but more likely it was because he suspected that this relationship had something _real_ and anyone who could have inspired those feelings in Shane was likely to earn his contempt. 

  
And just maybe, he was angry with himself for not moving on yet.

  
Finally answering the innocent inquiry, Willam replied, "I don't know...It just feels...so soon."

  
There was a noise of understanding and suddenly it truly struck Willam to his core. Of all the people he knew, Justin was probably the most likely to understand what he was going through. The most likely to know how it feels to watch the person you love move on and find someone else while you stayed lost in the shadows of a broken relationship.

  
"Why couldn't he just be lonely, too?" Willam asked to no one in particular. "At least for a little longer."

  
There was a comforting squeeze to his shoulder as he closed out of the social media app in a useless attempt to push away the thought of Shane happy in someone else's arms. Then just as he laid his phone back on the table, a pair of warm and strong arms were wrapped around his upper body. The contact was unexpected but strangely welcomed. Typically Willam preferred not to receive unexpected hugs but in this case it was needed, _wanted_ even.

  
"I'm here when you want to talk," Justin assured him in a soft whisper just beside his ear. "Day or night, just call me. I'll pick up."

  
"Thanks, 'Lask."

  
They pair shared a bittersweet smile and separated to continue getting ready for the show set to start in half an hour. As they methodically worked their way through their unique routines, their phones came alive every now and then with alerts from social media or texts from friends. Willam replied to most but Justin's only conversation of interest was with Aaron at the moment.

  
The Pittsburgh queen knew all too well about the situation thanks to social media, idle gossip, tidbits from Willam himself and of course, Justin filling in the remaining gaps. But there were also a few facts about the situation that even Willam didn't know. 

  
First, being that Shane struggled just as much with moving on and still was despite how happy he looked. 

  
Second, was that Roy felt frequent pangs of guilt over his new relationship, enough he was dreading the next time when he'd come face to face with Willam. 

  
And then finally, and perhaps of the most importance to Aaron, was Justin's feelings in all of this mess.

  
Justin had been watching Willam and Shane's relationship from the sidelines all the way from the very beginning to when it ultimately fell apart. He supported the pair. Actively defended their relationship whenever he heard a snide remark from a stranger or even colleague. 

  
He cared about both of his friends deeply but despite his loyalty, a part of him was glad when all was said and done. 

  
And Aaron knew exactly why.

  
He was supportive in his own way, gently encouraging Justin to admit his feelings before it was too late but there was always some kind of hesitation. Justin said the timing needed to be right before addressing the topic. To Aaron's mind, there was no true right time but Justin insisted there would be, it just hadn't happened yet.

  
"Soon," he'd say after being pressed for the upteenth time.

  
Of course Aaron's eyes would roll as he scoffed in disbelief but he'd let the subject drop for the time being. This was such a routine, so practiced at this point that he was waiting for the inevitable, indeterminable phrase to be flashing across the screen of his phone any second now. He knew asking that question yet again would likely stop the conversation dead in its tracks but strangely, instead of an immediate one word reply, there was a lapse of several minutes. Aaron was starting to worry that perhaps he finally pushed it too far this time but as he read the first few words of the newest block of text, he felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

  
'Willam wants to talk after the show.'

'We're gonna head back to the hotel and drink at the bar. More quiet there he said.'

'I think'

'He might be ready to talk about Shane and Roy.'

  
A smile tugged at the corners of Aaron's lips as he read the string of texts through once more. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for these two yet.


End file.
